Anticipation...

Well this morning, I'm contemplating what has brought me to this day. I was too filled with excitement to wait for the alarm clock and got up an hour early. It's been a long twenty-three years in some respects and a blink-of-an-eye-and-you'll-miss-it in others.

I want to tell you about gratitude the way I feel it. There's someone in my life who genuinely cares about me in ways that I just don't understand. He recognizes me for who I am and what I can be. He understands when I'm a dork and still gets me, and still he loves me. Don't get me wrong. We have our issues when we're not listening to each other, or exhausted, or feeling needy. But I have the certainty that we will always find a way to work it out. I know that I have a companion, a friend, a love that makes me want to be more. More for him, and more for myself. I don't know if I can ever thank him enough for what he has brought to me, for what he continues to bring to me, for who he has allowed me to become.

There's so much more, but a ceremony awaits in the far-off land of Vermont. "See you at the altar, my love." And for the rest of you, if these twenty-three years are any indication, I can't wait to see the adventure ahead.

And So We Begin Again ...

They have settled in at last, and after adopting the obligatory pet, their beautiful Sophia, who remained with them through the next fifteen years.

Sophia

They began years of bliss setting up house and adjusting to life together. Two smart, strong willed young men, living a new “style” of life. For you see, they had no real role models. Trial and error with lots of adjustments had to be made. Family, friends, a new city (Evansville), and new jobs were added to the mix of the unfamiliar world they had entered. Together they forged ahead. A life with two men in one household, decisions had to be made. How would they live? Who was in charge?  Etc., etc....

For them, they found common ground early on. Like any other couple would, they would often have to remember how much they love each other and always ask themselves how much they were truly giving to the relationship. It turns out this same-sex relationship was like any other relationship. Commitment, honesty, and respect have been a constant through this union from the beginning. Like any other relationship, they have had their ups and downs, but the most important thing is that they persevered through, always remembering the commitment that they made to each other. If one slipped, the other was there to pick them back up. The knowledge of that safety net created a bond for them very early on and has made their connection even more secure, especially for the years that followed.

Oh, I know, it all sounds like something from a novel. But you see, after twenty three years of ups and downs, it has been a great benefit to them both to keep the focus on the good remembering what has made them not only strong individuals, but a strong team as well. Learning from the past, remembering the lessons, this is very important. For these are our lessons that we carry forward, the lessons that we teach from.  For we all are teachers, and we are all students. This we must never forget.Starting out as mere boys and with the help of many friends and family members, they grew into the upstanding men that we know and love today.

How We Met

A long time ago, they met, Justin and Tim, at a bar in Evansville, Indiana. It was July the third, and they danced - a dance that they have been dancing now for twenty-three years. For hours, they danced till they closed the place down. Then came breakfast, at Jerry's. Justin was with his friend Greg Hayden, who actually prodded the two of them together at the beginning of the night. "Thank you, Greg." It was decided that Tim would go back with them to Lewisport, Kentucky to Greg's home for his Fourth of July Barbecue.

Civil War Historic Marker

The Pate House, four miles east of Lewisport on KY-334,
is where 18-year-old Abraham Lincoln successfully
defended himself for operating a ferry without a license.
Judge Pate was so impressed by Lincoln that he encouraged
 him to study law, and the rest is history. Also on KY-334
 is the Emmick Plantation House, built in 1854 with
bricks made on the farm.

They followed Tim to his apartment to drop off his car and away they went. By this time the sun had just started to come up, and they all drug themselves in for a few hours of sleep. Greg lived in a cabin built in 1854. Later that morning people started to arrive and the party began. Kentucky barbecues start out really having no beginning, people just start to show up and then more come and more till it simply, well, becomes. Hours of prep work, tables of food, beer, laughter, and I think, as at all Kentucky barbecues, there was even a fight. Tim and Justin were never apart. Some things never change.

Some months later, they take the plunge. Justin comes to Evansville and they move in together, for what neither of them knew at the time would be ... for life ...